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Whether it’s in childhood or adulthood, experiencing a traumatic event can have a lot of long-lasting effects. Some people walk away with a wound or fear that’s so deeply rooted, that it almost becomes a part of them. Living with these types of wounds and fears holds you back from being able to fully grasp your true purpose in life.
However, with our holistic healing program, you’ll be able to identify the cause of your issues and address it directly to move past the hurt and reconnect with your life’s meaning.
Core wounds, or soul wounds, are hurt so deep that they can lead to inner crises long after they happen. The Sanctuary’s founder, Dean Taraborelli, refers to them as “the granddaddy of all wounds.” These wounds aren’t surface-level cuts that heal with time. Instead, they live in your soul for a long time, until you address them head-on.
The five core wounds can result from our internal monologue or the words and actions of others. Many are emotional wounds from childhood, like growing up with a narcissistic parent or a primary caregiver who was unable to provide the unconditional love we needed.
However, no matter when these wounds occurred, they can all be very traumatic. Trauma has residual effects, including heightened fears about the world. Here are five types of core wounds and how you might start the healing journey:
Abandonment core wounds can be physical, such as a person leaving your life, or emotional, where a loved one suddenly becomes cold or distant. It can lead to an abandonment core fear, and constant anxiety that the people you care about will someday leave. You might become hypervigilant and seek constant reassurance, or you might push people away first to avoid the pain of being left.
We help our clients heal and address this fear in a safe, stable space. Our individual and group therapy can help you build self-reliance and an inner sense of security. You can form secure and healthy connections based on trust rather than fear, proving you can and will be supported.
Abuse core wounds can come from physical, sexual, mental or emotional abuse, as well as neglect and exploitation. This wound can leave you feeling powerless or always on guard for the next threat. You may be in a state of constant hyper-vigilance or have trouble with intimacy or trusting others.
A holistic treatment path can help you heal by addressing your mind, body and spirit. Our trauma-informed therapists help you process memories in a safe way, while bodywork and movement programs can release trauma stored in the body. You can start to reclaim your body as a safe place and restore your inner power.
Betrayal core wounds happen when a loved one violates your trust through actions like cheating, sharing your secrets or lying. This can make it feel hard to trust anyone again, including yourself and your own judgment. You may become cynical or guarded, believe that vulnerability is a weakness or that you need to protect yourself from the hurt that others will eventually cause.
Our program is all about reconnecting you with your own intuition so you can feel more confident in your decisions and your ability to set healthy boundaries. You can feel safe opening up in our supportive community and gradually learn how to engage in relationships without sacrificing your emotional safety.
Defectiveness is the painful and false belief that you are inherently flawed, unlovable or not good enough. Defectiveness core wounds can lead to a profound loss of identity, where your entire sense of self is filtered through this lens of inadequacy, and your ego builds a defense to hide the real you.
At The Sanctuary at Sedona, our program helps challenge this core belief by separating your true self from the wound. Through shadow work and mindfulness, you can uncover the origins of this false belief and cultivate a new and more compassionate inner voice. You'll see that you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are.
Separation core wounds stem from feeling totally isolated from everyone around you, whether physically or emotionally. It's more than loneliness — it's a sense that you are on the outside looking in, fundamentally different and disconnected from the human experience. You may experience a profound loss of meaning or purpose, feeling you have no real place in the world.
The moment you arrive at The Sanctuary, you will see that you are not alone in your struggles. Through shared experiences in group therapy and community activities, we help you dissolve the walls of isolation and forge genuine, heartfelt connections to restore your sense of belonging and purpose.
Core fears are intense, deep-rooted fears. They’re different from phobias because they’re universal.
The five core fears, according to psychologist Todd Pressman, Ph.D., are:
However, other universal fears like failure, loneliness, or embarrassment can also be core fears. These fears are both common and valid, especially because many of them come from the same trauma that causes core wounds. For example, experiencing abuse may lead to fears of abandonment or loss of purpose. You may not even fully realize what your core fears or wounds are, but you’ve probably felt their effects.
Core wounds and fears affect every part of our lives, including how we connect to ourselves and others and how we cope with stress.
Some core wounds obviously affect how you view yourself. Defectiveness, for example, is the belief that you’re innately flawed. But other core fears and wounds also lead to lower self-esteem:
Beyond your self-esteem, carrying core wounds and fears also affects your mental health. Depression goes hand-in-hand with fear and false beliefs about yourself. And many times, core wounds and fears manifest as anxiety in our day-to-day life.
It’s also important to recognize that these everyday anxieties are usually a defense mechanism your body and mind use to protect your soul from further hurt. By worrying (and acting on your worries), you enter a state of hypervigilance where you’re always prepared for the next threat. The world feels like an unsafe place when your belief systems are based on fear and hurt. Not only is this an exhausting way to live, but it also prevents you from being able to fully embrace the present.
Living in a deep state of fear or hurt also makes it hard to connect with other people in a healthy and positive way. Our fear of abandonment, for example, may look like social anxiety. Or our history of abuse can make us fear intimacy and being vulnerable with others.
One way we see this is in attachment styles, or how you tend to form connections with others. We know that core wounds commonly lead to insecure attachment styles. For example, some people have an anxious attachment style, which is rooted in an unresolved fear of abandonment. Others are avoidantly attached, which means they avoid emotional vulnerability, usually because of a past trauma of betrayal, defectiveness, or abuse. Having insecure attachment styles can complicate any relationship. You may self-sabotage or close yourself off.
You might also feel the effects of your soul wounds and fears if you’ve ever been in a codependent relationship. Codependency looks like not being able to set boundaries with loved ones, giving way more to a relationship than you get, or feeling solely responsible for the success of the relationship. And while it’s always nice to feel needed, when you need to feel needed, it may reveal a deep fear of abandonment, loss of purpose, or identity as a caretaker. Many times, codependent relationships are a way to cope with your core fears and wounds because they make you feel good and in control.
In addition to codependent relationships, there are many other ways to cope with our hurt that don’t serve our life’s purpose. You might use drugs or alcohol to numb the intensity of core fears and wounds. And while it’s intimidating to honor our hurt, trying to avoid it through substance use, disordered eating or toxic relationships usually causes more harm down the line.
Whether you distract yourself from your life’s purpose through drugs or alcohol or retreat from exciting opportunities out of fear you aren't worthy of them, living with unresolved core wounds and fears means you don’t get to live your life to its fullest potential.
Instead of relying on coping mechanisms that leave you feeling worse than before, you can address your core fears directly to move past their hold on you.
The first step towards healing is identifying your core wounds and fears. This takes a tremendous amount of self-examination, which is why having a therapist guide you and provide you with tools is crucial.
It’s helpful to start with your daily anxieties: what are you constantly worried about? Once you’ve noted those, try to connect them to their deeper source. For example, if you feel like you’re always one mistake away from your partner leaving you and you assume the worst when a loved one doesn’t respond to your text right away, you might uncover a fear of abandonment.
At The Sanctuary, we use shadow work to bring to light those dark parts of our soul that harbor past wounds and fears. Once they’re illuminated, we can see them for what they really are: a false set of beliefs based on assumed worst-case scenarios, not an inescapable reality.
After you’ve identified your core fears and the ways they show up in your daily life, it’s time to challenge them. These are deeply held beliefs you’ve likely had for years — if not decades — so this is not always an easy or comfortable task. That’s why at The Sanctuary, our comprehensive program allows you to challenge your core fears in a safe and supportive environment. We also provide the tools you need to redefine how your fears and hurt show up in your life.
Because our core wounds and fears infiltrate every part of our lives, we address their presence in all of the components of holistic health: physical, mental, spiritual, and social.
At The Sanctuary, you’ll eat nutrient-dense, anti-inflammatory meals, which repairs your gut health to support your emotional recovery. We also use bodywork and movement to help you physically release the trauma that’s causing your core wound and core fears.
You’ll also have daily individual and group therapy sessions to help you work through your unresolved trauma. We use a broad range of psychotherapy and mindfulness techniques to help you find the methods that let you heal best.
Core wounds and fears reside in your soul, so spiritual recovery is an important part of healing. Our on-staff healers are skilled practitioners of energy medicine, which unblocks your energy flow and reconnects you with your essence. Through holistic therapies, you can explore new ways of expressing yourself and connecting with those around you.
Finally, because our community is one of mutual support and understanding, you’re able to heal your wounds and find your true self at The Sanctuary. From the moment you step onto our tranquil Sedona campus, you become an integral part of our Sanctuary family. In this accepting environment, you can be vulnerable throughout your recovery journey and focus on healing, rather than guarding yourself against potential threats.
Our intensive treatment program allows you to step outside of your everyday routine and look at the bigger picture of your life. From that distance, it’s easier to see how your unresolved hurt has been affecting your life. And our experienced and understanding staff provides you with new tools and perspectives to help you heal. Because we know you’re not a “broken” person who needs fixing. You’re a whole person, worthy of love, and we are here to support your journey of discovering that.
Contact us to learn more about our holistic healing program and start healing your core wounds and fears today.
