Why Childhood Trauma Can Lead to Codependency
Codependency isn’t often thought of as an addiction, but it is possible for a person to develop codependency which strongly impacts the types of relationships they develop in their life. It is common for a codependent person to form a relationship with someone else suffering from their own psychiatric condition, and abusive people are often the “natural” partner for someone suffering from codependency. These patterns of behavior often lead a codependent person to be in a relationship with someone who is excessively exploitative, controlling, and demanding. In this situation, it can be very beneficial for the codependent person to seek treatment from a non 12 step holistic addiction recovery center.
Childhood Trauma: Root Cause of Codependency
It is thought that childhood trauma sets the foundation for a person to be codependent later in life, and psychologists are working to understand more about why this pattern of behavior develops. A young child who is abused learns that protesting against the abuser will cause the abuse to worsen, so the child learns to not be assertive in these situations. An abused child who argues or talks back against an abusing parent is often severely punished, which reinforces the idea that the problems will get worse if the child stands up for their own safety.
When this pattern is repeated during childhood, the person grows up to experience a loss of self, and they often focus on the needs of others instead of taking care of their own needs. The person learned to be submissive in fearful situations, causing a conditioned reaction which continues into adulthood. Being conditioned into submission creates the perfect environment for the person to become codependent.
Signs of Codependency
There are several things which indicate that a person is suffering from codependency:
Decision Making: Instead of making their own decisions, the codependent person relies on others to make those decisions for them. The person gives up their own preferences, and automatically concedes to another person’s desires.
Assertiveness: Instead of asserting their own opinions, a codependent person is much more likely to agree with the opinions and views of others.
Controlling the Conversation: A codependent person is often skilled at asking the right types of questions to control the conversation, in an attempt to keep the focus of the conversation away from themselves.
Talking: A codependent person usually doesn’t talk a lot, because they are fearful about expressing their own feelings, views, and thoughts. They usually prefer to listen to the conversation instead of actively participating in the discussion.
It is difficult to break these unhealthy patterns of codependency without the support of a professional. If you are in a pattern of unhealthy relationships and you are ready to break free from the codependency that is holding you back, then it is best to seek help from a non 12 step holistic addiction recovery center.
Even though many people assume that codependency is very different from other forms of addiction, the truth is that it is still very important to seek professional treatment. If you are interested in learning more how a non 12 step holistic addiction recovery center can help you overcome codependency, then we invite you to contact us at The Sanctuary at Sedona for more information: (928) 639-1300